I'm hoping that all my great family members and friends with children will give me some advice.
The very first night in the hospital, I couldn't bear to send Israel to the nursery. I didn't want him out of my sight, but he wouldn't sleep unless I was holding him, so I cradled him in the crook of my arm propped up with pillows and slept the best I could with my neck bent at various awkward angles. (It was uncomfortable to say the least especially considering how light I slept for fear of inadvertantly hurting or killing my newborn child.) Anyway, I started a habit that night, I don't know for good or ill, and Israel has slept with me since then.
He loves to cuddle when he sleeps and almost will never sleep unless he's in someone's arms, with the exception of the carseat and the stroller. He will pretty much wake up and start howling like two minutes after I set him down no matter how carefully I do it or how well I position him to feel like he is still being held. (I swear the kid knows if I'm even thinking of putting him down and starts getting upset.) So, I've pretty much stopped even trying to put him down and just hold him so he can get a good rest. At times this has caused me some frustration-- I would like to ever be able to wash the dishes or brush my teeth, etc--but really generally I have loved it myself. My favorite thing to do in the world is hold and cuddle my sweet and perfect little boy, and I figure that I'll never have just one child to care for ever again, so I can afford to live it up for right now and let other things go for the moment.
What it boils down to is this-- I haven't regretted being a slave to Israel's sleep, but I know that at some point I really do have to get him on some sort of schedule where he takes decent naps during the day and sleeps at night on his own so I can actually get things done that I need to and some sleep of my own, and I would like your input. I want to know what has worked/not worked for you and your little ones and especially at what point you think it is good to start trying to get your baby on a schedule. (And don't say since day 1--cause I've already blown that.=))
Thanks in advance for your helpful advice.
Love to you all,
Ashley
10 comments:
First of all, every baby is different, so take this with a grain of salt. Tyler also loved to be held constantly, and, with the demands of Jacob constantly barraging me, I couldn't do it. During his wakeful times, you could always try a sling or Baby Bjorn of some sort. That will free up your hands but still get the snuggling in.
As for naptime, I am a strong believer in swaddling. Tyler hated it at first, so I didn't do it for the first few months, but when he still wasn't sleeping well, the doctor told me to suck it up and wrap him up, and he slept through the night. I do it for naptimes and bedtimes. I have found that putting the baby in his bed for naps as well as bed also helps them know what to expect.
The hardest part, especially if you're not a meany like me, is letting them cry. I swaddle the baby, put him in his crib with lots of kisses, and turn off the light. I give myself a time limit, and if he's still crying after that (for me, 10 minutes), I go in and give him kisses, sniff his bum, and make sure he's not lying in spit-up. Then I give him 5 more minutes. After a week (or even less), my babies have gone to sleep within 3 or 4 minutes of being put in the crib. It's worth a try, and then their wakeful times are much happier for everyone.
That's a lot of advice, but it worked great for me. And I babysat a baby who had been rocked to sleep every night for 6 months and got him on a nap schedule doing the same thing, so it's never too late. But, like I said, every baby is different. Good luck! By the way, he's a beautiful baby.
Oh since day one nothin' I was always freaked out about getting them in bad habits til I finally relaxed and just let them do whatever they wanted til they were about two months. Then you are both more ready.
I don't know anything as all my kids were different, but with Penny and Jesse it seemed to work if I put a little warming pad on their bed, sang to them and swaddled them and then laid them in it. I would let them cry for only like 10 mins because you'd be surprised that sometimes the are out cold in 5 (don't start that at night. It is easier not to freak about letting them cry if you say "Ok, just while I do the dishes or fold the laundry i'll see if he can fall asleep -- maybe just start with the morning nap or two til he gets the hang of it if you want . . . or just his bedtime or whatever). Then, I didn't just force them to cry forever. If it didn't work after about 10 mins, I had like a plan of what I'd try. Like first, I'd try to hold their binky in and sing til they fell asleep (then they were still in their crib so i knew it was teaching them to sleep there), if that wouldn't work after about 10 mins I'd get them out and nurse them to sleep and try and put them down. It was a long list, when sometimes it just seems easier to hold them for naps, but after even a week or so it seems like they'd start doing pretty good at it and it makes it so much easier to just give them your total attention when they are awake if you can get a little done when they nap!! Good good luck.
Whatever you do, don't freak out about thinking you have to do anything a certain way. Books, etc. like to make you think you are ruining your child when really every mom figures something that works sooner or later . . . even me with Daisy . . . the worlds worst ever baby sleeper.
Umm. don't leave the warming thing on the bed for crying out loud!! That is toooo hot. It just seemed easier for them to leave my snuggly warm arms to something else snuggly and warm. I'd take the warmer thing off just before putting them down.
The only thing that I can tell you cause I definitely have experience with this problem is to try very very hard to get out of this habit!! Our first little boy(Logan who is going to be 6 this year, WOW) slept in our bed with us until he was almost 3! I would definitely say to start letting him cry for as long as you feel you can whether that be 5 minutes or 30 minutes but make sure it is what you want, but do it at nap time and as he gets the hang of that move on to doing it at bedtime. I would also say to swaddle him tightly in a blanket because that will simulate the closeness and tightness he gets from your arms and help him to relax and feel comfortable. I know that we are all going to give advice to you but it really is all trial and error and what works for you may not work for someone else or vice versa. You will figure it out it will just take time! Don't get to discouraged!!
it is great to hear everybody's stories and suggestions so you can see what feels right for you and then try one (or all) of them.
okay, here's my advice. and its probably better given over the phone so we can talk more. first of all, don't worry about anything until he is two months old. john gave me some good lit on this and most docs agree that this is when they can start forming a schedule. so, choose 8:00 or whatever. it doesn't matter if he's napped recently or what. just make sure he is changed and fed. lay him in his crib and sit and soothe him by patting him and talking to him, maybe some lullaby music in the background to start creating the nighttime ritual. the first night it might take a few minutes or it might take an hour for him to fall asleep. don't give up. and don't pick him up. just do your best to soothe him in his crib. if he wakes up shortly after, go in and soothe him again. but don't get him out unless you are sure he is very hungry or has a dirty diaper. a diaper can even be changed while he is still in the crib. do this every night at 8:00 for a week. soon he will start figuring things out and you will notice that since he is going to sleep around the same time, he starts to get up around the same time and then starts getting very tired for a nap around the same time, too. it can be very frustrating for you for a week or so, but it sure worked well for my kids.
ps LOVE the photo!!!
ASHLEY,
All I have to say is
"BABY WISE" By Ezzo and Bucknam.
It is so helpful, and though a lot of people (my mom included) do not agree w/ letting them cry any amount of time... it still is key to getting them to sleep on their own. I will always go in and check on them, but after 3 days of tough love, they get on a really great schedule and I can plan my outings or visits around the babies nap and eating times.
I highly recommend the book, they have baby wise 1 till 5 months then book 2 5-15 months and toddler wise and preschool wise and childwise. I'm in preschool wise w/ my oldest 3 yrs and it has helped me so much w/ re-teaching her obedience and some really insightful tools that i have loved! Seriously I have prayed thanks for that book entering my life! Good luck, he's a doll and do enjoy him all you can, you only have one once and they grow fast!! ENJOY every minute! But it is nice to feel some freedoms of a normal day again.
2 of my favorite things: The Happiest Baby on the Block video (get it from the Library!) which shows you how to swaddle the baby just right and has other helpful calming techniques. Kate went through a time where she would only fall asleep in her swing with a blow dryer turned on next to her. (hey, it worked!) 2nd favorite thing, the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weissbluth. Parts of the book you can skip/skim...they're about the research showing sleep is important...my favorite thing about this book is it tells you how the child should sleep at different ages. I didn't have this book for Ava, but Kate followed it almost to the day! Ex. It says that six weeks after the due date (not the birth!) the baby will start to go to bed earlier and sleep for longer stretches. Almost to the day...Kate started settling down earlier and going for longer periods. I like that it tells me what to expect and look forward to. (Did I mention I love to sleep too!) :o) I did have to let both my babies cry, which is a little hard, but it is SO worth the effort! Kate has slept through the night (from 6:30p-7a) since about 3 months thanks to her thumb, in part, and both my girls still go to bed with no complaint at about 7 and don't wake up until between 7-8 the next morning. Plus Kate takes a long nap in the afternoon. One of the things I remember the book saying is that a little one should only be awake for about 2 hours at a time. Anyways, check it out and enjoy the helpful info it has!
I love knowing that, that sweet photo was here on my very own couch. I am missing having you here already. Why can't Hiram see the truth. The truth being that Soda is th place for you.
I have no advice, at all, none. But I do love the photo of you and your little sweetness!
Post a Comment